Stuff and Nonsense

"And you know that I love you here and now, not forever
I can give you the present, I don't know 'bout the future,
that's just stuff and nonsense"

(Stuff And Nonsense - T Finn)


I am starting this blog as a way of giving a 'voice' to the feelings I am going through upon learning 'officially' my son has Autism. So primarily it is to help me to make sense of it all, but if in the process it helps others who might be going through the same thing, then great.

It was perhaps a little over a year ago when my maternal and child health nurse 'suggested' it might be worth looking into Jaspers apparent language delay. I was a little concerned at his lack of language, as well as a few other little 'quirks', and agreed.

My 15 year old son had previously been diagnosed with Asperger Sydrome in April 2005 - 4 months prior to Jaspers birth - and so I was fairly familiar with Autistic traits and could see some of them in Jasper.

The past 12 months has been a whirl of early intervention, speech therapy, occupational therapy as well as regular visits with Ken Armstrong (paediatrician).

3 days before Christmas we were given the news 'officially' although we have for a long time 'believed' this would be the outcome.

I can't 'think' too much about it, if I try to imagine the future - even one day forward - it scares me. I don't know what the future holds, and I don't know if I can do this forever. All I know is that I HAVE to do it today.